Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. I’m back!
Actually, I never left. I’ve been here all along, continuing my gastronomic quest to cram as much baguette (and steak. and jam. and chocolate. and butter- glorious, glorious butter.) into my life as possible- I just haven’t been writing about it.
Why the vacation? Or rather, stay-cation, since I never left? Hang tight, Food Hound faithful, for the swashbuckling tale is wrought with high-seas drama.
Totally kidding… unless you call sleepless nights and sore nipples high-seas drama. Which, of course, it is.
|Little Miss at 3 months; awesome
photograph by Brittany Payne!
Yup, I’m a mama now! On February 1st I gave birth to the sweetest little dumpling you ever did see. Nicknamed “la Brioche” as a richer, more buttery, more Francais version of the classic American “bun in the oven,” her sassy little embryo came on the scene last May. With her she brought joy, excitement… and an overnight development of a severe aversion to anything I had been eating on the Paleo challenge, as well as food prep or photography of any kind.
For those of you still reading after the sore nipples comment, you know that’s the kiss of death for any food blogger.
So… out went the steak and avocado, and in went chocolate milk and sandwiches on crusty, toasty, glorious BREAD. And pizza and Middle Eastern food. To this day, a good toasted-turkey-tomato-hummus sandwich makes me salivate on command. Oh wait, all food makes me do that.
Remember the Booze Hound? Well, the proud papa went on to WIN the Paleo Challenge, all while eating his buffalo chicken-veggie stir fries far away from my heightened olfactory zone and making me forbidden grilled cheeses. The things we do for love. But really, I was carrying his child- it’s not like he could say no.
OK, before you all start feeling bad for the pregnant girl, know that my food issues only lasted about 6 weeks, at which time I resumed eating anything and everything… but this time, while wearing super-sexy maternity clothes. And I totally planned to resume blogging, but I never did. *cue the dramatic music*
The whole barf-after-barbeque era of pregnancy came at the best time: I was burned out. I had just returned from the BlogHer conference completely demoralized that my blog would never “make it.” I wanted to have thousands of followers, get noticed by Fine Cooking magazine, and become a household name in the food writing world. The Travel Channel would offer me a show where I review the latest Parisian restaurants, and the Barefoot Contessa would ask me out to lunch to review her new cookbook “Cooking with the Food Hound.”
I so wish I were kidding.
But seriously, the writing was on the wall: if I wanted the Food Hound to be big, I needed to plunge myself into social media, redesign my blog, care about SEO, take better photographs, advertise with companies, and have more original content.
Instead… I have made a feeble attempt to tweet and found out that I hate it, the Booze Hound is my blog designer and we have little desire or funds to outsource it, I thought SEO was “Site Executive Officer,” my photography skills are poor, and I never want to advertise with a company that sells food out of a box or advocates sprouted anything.
|Moi, doing (scaled) Kelly at 39 weeks. BOOM!|
And so the past 14 months I let the Food Hound wander cyberspace alone. I knew I’d never “make it,” and that was ok. I still loved to cook, eat, and rub cocoa butter on my ginormous pregnant belly (FYI- the person who decided to market a chocolate-smelling lotion to hungry pregnant women was a GENIUS). I had the easiest pregnancy EVER (see right), pushed out a 7-lb 12-oz butterball, and, once the delirious fog of those first few newborn weeks lifted, resumed my role as CFO (Chief Food Officer) of Chez Hound. I enjoyed cooking things without the stress of having to plate them perfectly for photos. Or having to wait 5 minutes to dig my face into a steaming hot plate of love just so I could get a picture. Or having to type out recipes. Or come up with ridiculously awesome content.
Oh wait, that last part comes naturally 😉 But I’m still waiting for that call from Fine Cooking, so… maybe not.
Then I learned something that helped spark the idea of rescuing the Food Hound from eternal spam-nation with ads for “Buy Cheap Gold”:
Nursing moms want to eat.
Don’t get me wrong, I threw down some food when I was a baby-factory. But it was nothing, nothing, compared to my life as a milk factory. I want carbs dripping in fat dripping in protein. I want to eat salads out of mixing bowls. I want omelets oozing with enough cheese to embarrass a Frenchman. I want a juicy steak that takes up the whole plate. I want chocolate mousse for dessert every night.
And I kind of want to tell you about it.
Necessity is the mother of invention ~Plato
In order to make it through an afternoon of having Food Network on in the background and not throw something at Guy Fieri as he shows me yet another hidden gem pulled pork joint that makes the juiciest, most tender sandwich that just happens to be topped with bacon and cheese, I had to make the kind of food I wanted to eat.
Ina makes the same kind of food that makes you want to lick the TV, but I could never throw something at her. Love you, Ina 🙂
As with anything, some things turned out great, and some were colossal failures. I found I constantly wanted to share the great things with my friends and family and then it occurred to me: “that’s what the blog was for, you yodel.”
|My babies. Holding paws.|
And so, I am back. The Food Hound won’t go viral, and I’m totally ok with that. My photography skills will be limited by my iPhone, I may occasionally link to a recipe instead of typing it out, I might only post a few times per month, and I don’t care if I ever get another Twitter follower (and if I do decide to tweet, it will probably be something like “why do BumGenius diapers leak?” #shitalloverthecrib).
But what I can promise is that I will post about wonderful food, be it from my kitchen or a local place I love, with a side of Doberhound antics, tales of new mommy-hood, shameless sharing of Brioche photos, and CrossFit stories (because a girl’s gotta work off all that butter).
Food Hound 2.0. Kind of new, not really improved, but totally awesome 🙂